STOP FREAKING OUT and read some books instead (Advice part two)

A side effect to constantly looking up advice on the Internet is an unrelenting sense of fear and anxiety, which is the opposite effect of what I wanted.

You see along with all the friendly happy people telling you how to train, and that missing one long run isn’t such a big deal.

You will read stuff that suggest things like: you haven’t trained enough, you’re really slow, marathons are hard, and you will get injured and your foot will fall off (ok the last one might be a tad of an exaggeration).

So here I have collected some books and advice that helped me get through my marathon (and no, none of it is a quote on top of a backdrop of someone running on a beach) without having a total meltdown.

Enjoy!



Reading and running

Books, my friend, are the antidote to internet induced panic. If you can't run, read!

Running like a girl by Alexandra Heminsley

I devoured this book in about two days the week I signed up for my marathon, and it is amazing.

It is one girls journey from couch potato to runner, with all the glorious good and bad moments that come with it. I actually re-read the chapter where she does her first marathon, and I honestly think it should be required reading for most newbies.

The message is, yes some of this is going to suck, but honestly its all wonderfully glorious at the end. She’s funny too, and it’s a damn easy read.

Also heed the advice on sports bras women - get a proper bra!

Born to Run: Thehidden tribe, the ultra-runners, and the greatest race the world has never seenby Christopher McDougall

READ BORN TO RUN.

Seriously this book has it all, a secret Mexican tribe who are some of the fastest people in the world, utterly insane ultra-marathon runners and a 50 miles foot race through crazy inhospitable terrain.

It reads like a mystery thriller about running! And it reminds you of three wholly important lessons – humans are capable of some amazing things, sometimes you should just run for the fun of it and some people are totally fucking mental.

The terrible and wonderful reasons I run long distances by the Oatmeal

This comic strip (ok I cheated, its not a book, yet), is a perfect shout out to all us crazy runners who aren’t temples of health. Who cares if you eat pizza all day and lie in bed watching the whole fifth season of 30 rock?

You’re a runner, you went out and ran! You have beat the Blerch, and defeated the Kraken! You can do what you want. Now pass the ice cream.

This all makes sense if you read the comic. It’s short and sweet, and a little bit magical. Read it, and I swear you’ll be lacing up your shoes in no time.

The book is coming in September!

What other book recommendations do you have?

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Advice addiction: stuff I collected on the internet that helped with my first marathon (Part one)

I am an advice addict. There I said it. I am addicted to reading advice on the internet. I spend too much time on the looking stuff up, to bank away in my memory disc (i.e. my mind) for later use.

So as you would imagine, running a marathon put my advice addiction into overdrive and I spent long hours researching literally everything and anything I could about how to train, what to eat, strength exercises, why my hips hurt, how horrible hitting the wall was, what books to read, waaaay too many posts about people’s first marathon – so yeah, everything.

Luckily for other people, I shall put my collected knowledge to good use by sharing it with you all.

Want to go from beginner to marathon? Use all this information to help.

PART ONE: Some handy links to get you started

FIRST the Reddit guide to running is very good, and worth a read.

Getting started – ‘Appily running
Phone apps for beginners

Couch to 5k

I never actually used this to start running, but most people seem to love it. The app uses a walk/run method to teach you how to go from zero to 5k (3.1 miles) in around two months.

Zombies, RUN!

I did use this one, and it is awesome! It’s a zombie video game that you play while you run – seriously why wouldn’t you want that?

You play Runner 5, using only your legs, you must pound the pavements to collect critical supplies and escape the clasps of hoards of zombies. The story plays out in your headphones, so you will itching to go outside again, just to see what happens.

The best part has to be the zombie chases (helping to make dreaded interval training a bit more bearable) – where you can hear the zombies closing in on you if you slow down.

Don’t get bitten, and remember when you hear zombies, RUN!

RunKeeper

I used this, with a combination of MapMyRun, before I got my running watch. It’s your basic GPS running tracker – showing splits, times and distance etc.

There’s not much else to it, but its free and worth using!

Training – Higdon or Galloway?

The two names you will hear over and over when it comes to marathon (or other race) training are Hal Higdon and Jeff Galloway.

Who are these guys you ask?

Well they are basically running trainers (no, not like the ones on your feet), who created free (and good) training guides.

I ended up following the Hal Higdon plan, which slowly builds up your mileage each week (and includes a half marathon in the middle). It is four days a week, and you will end up doing long-ish runs mid week, with really long ones at the weekend.

He also recommends cross training the day after your long runs. He has several plans ranging from Novice to Advanced, most taking around 18 weeks for a full marathon.

Galloway’s plan is much longer at 32 weeks, and combines a run/walk strategy. It only involves running three times a week, with one additional ‘easy walk’ on Fridays.

Its up to you who you choose, but as beginner’s plans go – these two are probably the most popular out there AND they are free!

WHY does (insert body part) hurt? How do I make it stop?

Did you know your shin splints are caused by the fact your calves muscles are too tight? Have you ever heard of the IT band or the gluteus maximus muscles? What exactly is foam rolling?

All these and more can be learnt on the internet. Basically learn to stretch out those muscles, work on your core and for god’s sake rest if you need to.

This reddit wiki has a damn good guide on all those injuries and how to get them to stop hurting.

One of the best things I found was this awesome free yoga website, which has a section dedicated to yoga for runners: Do Yoga With Me.

These two videos saved me: Deep Release for the Hips, Hamstrings and Lower Back and Yoga for Runners: A Stretch Class for the IT Band.

It’s really well done, and as Brussels yoga sessions seem to be like 15 euros a time – this was a good compromise.

Foam rolling is a big foam roller (seriously, I can't describe it any other way) that you use to massage your muscles. And it works a treat, though at the time may cause intermittent swearing when trying to get those tough knots out - OW.

Get yourself some compression socks, they are magical wonderful things. Buy them now, don't look back!

NEXT UP:

Part two: STOP FREAKING out – calming advice to help you get through this

Please share your own advice in the comments!

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The last leg of the journey

Here I am, sat in my pyjamas only a week away from my first marathon.

I don’t know how to feel anymore, my mind jumps between all encompassing fear to giddy excitement. I have started dreaming about the marathon, and they are nearly always nightmares. I accidentally do the half, instead of the full and end up hours later than everyone else. I forget all my water and energy gels, and just have to hope that I can finish without collapsing.

The thing about marathon training is, that as it creeps closer and closer, it becomes the thing everyone wants to talk to me about and the thing I want to talk about the least. I suddenly feel embarrassed when I have to tell people my longest run was 18 miles, and they suck in their teeth as a sign of respect.

I want to grab them and say, seriously it isn’t that great – I say ran, but most of it was me cursing at trees and at my own legs. Some of it definitely wasn’t even running; it was tired walking hoping it would all end.

I guess that is where the terror comes from, the feeling of pure inadequacy!

On the other hand, there is something wonderful about it all. I can run 10 miles, and say, that was just a 10 miler. As if 10 miles was a normal distance to spend pummelling pavements. I am now fit enough that most runs under 8 miles, just feel kind of boring, my body itches for me to grab onto that runners high from when I first began.

Even just completing a simple 5k is an achievement (finally under 30 minutes!).

I now have a strange relationship with my running gear. And as cheesy as it sounds, when I put on my striders and trainers, I feel strangely empowered. These are the clothes I wear to break down personal barriers, to go beyond anything I could have imagined. It feels good.

And on the day, I get to see my friends and my family. I get to be cheered on by random strangers, meet others who have been working as hard as me.

In many ways my training didn’t really go as planned, I missed countless long runs due to various illnesses and injuries, and in the last month became quite slack. I drank too much, ate badly, choose the pub over the gym, smoked when I should have quit, basically lots of bad things.

BUT here’s a little secret that the running community sometimes don’t reveal to you – its ok, because despite all that I am still running. Look up running on the Internet and too much of it seems made to make you stop. People can be snobby, and cruel. Not all of them of course, there is a great camaraderie in running. 

However, sometimes there are snobs, and those snobs can make you feel bad. They moan about slow runners, they berate those attempting 5 hour marathons, and they pretty much have a go at those who don’t fit the healthy standard for a ‘runner’. (As I said, not all, there are plenty of lovely encouraging people out there too!)

I learnt to not let it get to me, because the simple fact is, I am running – even if my training went askew, even if I am not the healthiest person, or my mile times are just faster than walking – I am running. I hate the idea that people are put off, thinking they need to be the picture of health before they start, when really you can do it whatever your habits!

So here I am, on the final stretch! I have no more aspiration than to cross the finish line. I am hoping my stubbornness will force me to keep up with my 5 hour pace group and that someone will be waiting with food and a beer at the end (or a coke, I always crave coca cola after doing long runs).

Let’s hope I can hobble away from this experience, with a tiny feeling that I might do this all again sometime.

Until race day… WISH ME LUCK.

Also we have made over £1,000 in sponsorship, which is bloody awesome :D

You can add to here, if you haven't already.

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Pain pain go away

I am running free, sailing down long streets with twinkling streetlights. This is easy, I think, a mile in and I feel so fine, so at ease, so…. OW. What the hell?

The last week has involved three hellish runs, not because of the freezing cold weather, but something much worse – my bloody legs. I have finally cracked the whole running for 8 miles and feeling physically fine thing, but it appears my legs had something fun in store for me – horrible stabbing pains if I decide to go faster than an 11 minute mile (which is not very fast).

After a mile suddenly my shins start screaming or my hips decide they’ve had enough. And its hugely frustrating, because I know I could run a good fast 3 miles and my body is telling me I can’t.

Now, I am stuck as to what to do. Most treatment seems to involve rest, but I worry that if I rest this weekend I won’t get in my 10 miler – a pretty important benchmark. However, it is more than that – I have started to enjoy, like really enjoy running.

I want to run and that weird feeling of ‘what the hell do you think you are doing’ – seems to be going further and further away, but instead my legs are giving way and I don’t know what to do about it.

I know I can run faster, but this physical barrier is getting in the way. And the worse thing is how hard is it to run through it. The pain of getting fitter can be run through, you can keep going when you’re gasping for air or fantasizing about what cold drink you will have at home.

But with leg pain, that feels like tiny elves have gone on an exploratory mining mission between your shinbones, it’s much harder to keep going.

I am sure I am not the first marathon trainer to feel the pain of shin splints, or have to limp up stairs after a run. I know its because my regular route involves hills, and my legs aren’t used to going up and down a hill at a fast speed four times a week.

I know that I should rest, but I don’t want to. I want to keep going. I want to finally get to under 30 on my 5k and not have to deal with my hips every second stride.

There has been the pain, the frustrated walking, and running full pelt away in panic when I suddenly realised I appeared to be running in the middle of nowhere and there was just one lone man sat in his car – that brought up too many visions of horror films for my liking.

But each night I put my shoes back on and pulled my way up that hill, and grimaced at my poor times, and kept running.

So to you pain I say, please just go away, just this once. Please?

(Note: since writing this, I have also caught a chesty cold meaning I can't run at all - I am having no luck)

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Valuable lesson while running: I can't run with a hangover

This weekend I discovered something incredibly important - I will not run when I am hungover. 

For someone who calls themselves the reprobate runner, you would think that training with a mild headache and a queasy feeling in my stomach, would be my forte.

And I had began to think that too. The internet had provided me with hundreds of articles saying no matter how bad the hangover I would feel so refreshed at the end, and the run would basically cure my self inflicted ailments. I thought, yes of course, I will master this. I will run off my hangovers!

Well, this is my run down of how not to run with a hangover.

Firstly on Friday night I ended up drinking a few too many Duvels (8% Belgian beer for the uninitiated) and woke on Saturday morning with that restless energy that only hazy morning drunkeness can provide.

I'll do it, I thought. I will run away the hangover - it'll be amazing, I'll return a new woman! I will become one of those people who runs at 7am after a binge on white wine, and then does an hour of yoga - and talks a lot about the power of anti-oxidants.

I have found the cure for all my ails - I thought merrily to myself as I laced up my shoes. No more painkillers and hours in bed watching Netflix for me. I stumbled into the bright light of Saturday morning.

Well I was terribly wrong. Running hungover is horrible. 

This is mainly for one quite obvious reason: running takes up a lot of energy, and your body spends a lot of time trying to deal with that - add in a liver attempting to process four strong beers, then you're heading for a painful ride.

I managed 2k before wanting to immediately lie down in the slightly damp grass, and it took nearly all of my willpower not to succumb to this urge. Not only was I trying to clear my body of beer, I had barely enough sleep, meaning every miserable step just reminded me I was veering further away from my bed. 

Finally after an extra 0.5k I gave in and walked home miserably. It's fine, I thought, it was just a blip - maybe next time. The problem was, my next attempt was the following day. 

A month or so before I had decided to take a trip back to Manchester to see some friends, one of whom I am attempting this ridiculous idea of running a marathon with. So we readily made plans to drink copious of beer, then go on a 10k run the next day - this was planned for the weekend of the first ill advised hungover run.

Nursing my Duvel hangover, I packed my running shoes into a rucksack, got on my Ryanair flight and tried not to think about putting on the shoes the next day.

So, let's put it this way - the first bit with the beer happened (English pints this time though), the second part with the running... well, that didn't even come close to taking place.

At 11am I stumbled downstairs on the Sunday morning and loudly claimed I was pretty sure that I was still drunk. We spent long lazy hours eating sausage sandwiches, drinking countless cups of tea and watching four episodes of Don't Tell the Bride.

Finally we looked out of the window to the impending darkness and gave in, agreeing that running with a hangover was a terrible idea.

So this weekend I learnt a valuable lesson - I should not schedule runs the day after the night before, and if I have a day of miles ahead of me - I am best sticking to sparkling water.

The reprobate runner might have to become a little less of a reprobate. 

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High five to my younger self

The apocalyptic Brussels canal. Photo by saigneurdeguerre.

Running is not a new activity for me. From a young age each year I would join my father in a 5 mile race – called the Greggs run.

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Running towards the light

So I became that person, I am the person who comes home after work when its pitch black outside and the temperature is barely 1 degree, and goes running.

I never thought I’d be that person who would go running in the freezing cold at night when there are radiators and Netflix, but here we are. It has happened.

Now most things don’t phase me too much when running: I secretly enjoy running in the rain. Bright insanely hot sunshine can be gruelling, but manageable. Freezing cold temperatures can be combatted by long sleeved tops and gloves.

But today I had to conquer my biggest fear: THE DARK. Now I like being female, I very much enjoy it, but sometimes it gets in the way of things. And one of those things is choosing to run at night.

Because pretty much for any female, no matter how unappealing we look in our lycra running gear, can't go running in pitch darkness for fear of scary men lurking in shadows. Its rubbish, and check out Reclaim the Night marches for info on protests around this.

So pretty much all parks are out of the question, and you have to stick to lit roads surrounded by houses. This is a damn annoyance to be perfectly honest. I am happy to wear the reflective gear, and look like a idiot in a bright yellow hat (though I have yet to succumb to wearing the only head torch I own, which is a panda’s face with two glowing eyes that flash), but running on streets doesn't quite have the same exciting - look at all these lovely things, as running round a nice park does.

So I kept putting it off, but with the pressure of 26.2 miles ahead of me, I finally went for it.

And it wasn’t too bad at all – I stuck to lit roads and found a decent 5k. I even encountered another runner, who was clearly much more worried about not being seen than I was and had no less than three separate lights flashing on him.

I’m pretty sure even his trainers lit up. It makes you wonder if people run just for the excuse of legitimately wearing trainers with flashing lights past the age of 8.

Apart from the bright trainers, he was obviously a serious runner, because when he past me, he looked at his watch in a meaningful – AM I PBing??? (personal best) way.

And the best part about running in dark? Less people to randomly mock you on the street. Now, this doesn’t happen all the time, but at least once each run you’ll get some moron who is so uncomfortable with the idea of exercise that they feel the need to openly share it with you.

However, those same idiots wouldn’t step outside if there was even the slightest chance of rain, so you get to share the path with much more accepting individuals.

So all in all – despite the problems of being a girl, I still managed to run in the dark!

Evening runs conquered.

Finally here is Wanda Sykes with the perfect solution to the problem:

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My legs hate me today

Last week I ran a 10k, and in the flurry of a runner high - I dreamily decided that it would be a brilliant idea to sign up for a marathon in April. And much like making a drunken purchase using Amazon one click, that brilliant idea suddenly felt utterly absurd as soon as the adrenalin had worn off.

A marathon? The most I have managed before is 10k, so I may not be starting from scratch, but when my race results came in for the run on that Sunday - my name seemed to be surrounded by a large amount of women in the over 40 category. Not that women over 40 are bad runners, in fact I can tell by looking at my own time (I hour 8 mins if you must know), they clearly aren't.

So like any self-indulgent runner, I decided to write a blog - mainly as a outlet for my frustrations, confusions and naval gazing.

Today my legs hurt - they really bloody hurt. They hurt in that way that it is almost hysterically funny how much they hurt, because every movement feels like someone is shredding my thigh with a steak knife. Ok, so its not that bad, but it is the unfortunate issue with running a 10k, followed by a 5k the next day.

My body isn't used to this kind of pressure, it has come rather used to sitting or lying down. I once perfected the ability to lie on my bed, while watching endless episodes of 30 rock on Netflix eating crisps, without having to lift my head at all.

So now my body is on strike, it is refusing to go on, it is picketing the fence that is my upper thighs and sneering at my feet for even trying to get me anywhere. However this shall of course not deter me. I am mildly amused by my bodies resistance, like a toddler throwing a tantrum – it will eventually pass and I shall keep going.

I am a mild reprobate – I drink beer (I live in Brussels, its basically their water), I can’t hear the words 'free food' without the urge to stuff it all in my mouth, I have spent days not leaving the house, but I am a runner.

Welcome to my blog.

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